(I'm paraphrasing here because I was not present for the actual conversation but I witnessed the resulting session)
Producer: Let's work on this song. Here is the hook and I need you and your buddy to put some enthusiasm into it.
Artist: The beat is dope but I don't want to work on the hook because my generation will not listen to a song about that subject.
Producer: Ok. What do you want to work on?
Artist: I was hoping you would say that! Let me take your super mega extra dope ass beat and spew gibberish over it that I know they will love in the hood.
Producer: Ok. Let's try it your way, unproven young person that wouldn't know a dope ass lyric if a doctor put it in an I.V. and infused it with your blood.
After 52 niggas, 17 threats of violence, 3 gang affiliations (to a set that would have violated him 34 times by now) and 5 claims to firearms that would have had him in jail for possession alone, this dude and his friend wastes everyone time and he doesn't even have a basic knowledge of song structure.
Artist: I was hoping you would say that! Let me take your super mega extra dope ass beat and spew gibberish over it that I know they will love in the hood.
Producer: Ok. Let's try it your way, unproven young person that wouldn't know a dope ass lyric if a doctor put it in an I.V. and infused it with your blood.
After 52 niggas, 17 threats of violence, 3 gang affiliations (to a set that would have violated him 34 times by now) and 5 claims to firearms that would have had him in jail for possession alone, this dude and his friend wastes everyone time and he doesn't even have a basic knowledge of song structure.
How the conversation would have gone had I not been in the other room:
Producer: Let's work on this song. Here is the hook and I need you and your buddy to put some enthusiasm into it.
Artist: The beat is dope but I don't want to work on the hook because my generation will not listen to a song about that subject.
Me: Well, considering the fact that the producer here and I are proven recording artists who have music that has had radio play, sold internationally and we both have music backgrounds that span more years than you have been alive, we could allow you to waste our time talking about the only things you have experienced to this date. I believe that would include staying at your Mama's house, improper use of a belt and grinding your little Petey Weatey on someone's THOT daughter's stretchy pantsed mini camel toe along with your vision of gangster life that has been derived from the 17 movies you've watched on the subject. Sure, I think that would be a great idea so we can have a song that your generation will like.
Artist: Man, you don't know what you are talking about. I got them hot bars! The shit your producer friend wants us to say will not get any love from the hood.
Me: You may well be correct, young sir. If we do it your way everyone in the hood will have your song on their phones, listening to it on the bus while everyone else scrambles for their headphones so they can escape your assault on their ears. I'm sure that when they attempt to play your song on the radio the 72 blank spaces created by the editing they will have to do because of your limited vocabulary will not be distracting at all. In fact, they will love the beat because that will be about the only part of the song left intact.
Artist: You are old, man. They don't listen to the shit your producer wants us to say.
Me: Maybe so. I'm sure your version will get plenty of attention from the hood. You will get 1,000,000 views on Youtube and everyone in the hood will download your song...illegally. The check for $1000 will split up nicely between you, your buddy and the producer. Promise me you will let me ride that shiny, new bike you will buy with your end. Maybe you will make some extra money from that tour with Chief Keef. Oh, wait. He won't tour with you because you are in an opposing gang. How would he know that, you say? Because that is the set your are throwing up in your verse. Oh by the way, 12 bars is not proper song structure for this project. We will give you time to go reference your diary in your hope chest for 4 more bars.
Artist: You're a hater! (runs into studio and throws himself on the couch, sobbing into his Pelle Pelle jacket)
Producer: Let's work on this song. Here is the hook and I need you and your buddy to put some enthusiasm into it.
Artist: The beat is dope but I don't want to work on the hook because my generation will not listen to a song about that subject.
Me: Well, considering the fact that the producer here and I are proven recording artists who have music that has had radio play, sold internationally and we both have music backgrounds that span more years than you have been alive, we could allow you to waste our time talking about the only things you have experienced to this date. I believe that would include staying at your Mama's house, improper use of a belt and grinding your little Petey Weatey on someone's THOT daughter's stretchy pantsed mini camel toe along with your vision of gangster life that has been derived from the 17 movies you've watched on the subject. Sure, I think that would be a great idea so we can have a song that your generation will like.
Artist: Man, you don't know what you are talking about. I got them hot bars! The shit your producer friend wants us to say will not get any love from the hood.
Me: You may well be correct, young sir. If we do it your way everyone in the hood will have your song on their phones, listening to it on the bus while everyone else scrambles for their headphones so they can escape your assault on their ears. I'm sure that when they attempt to play your song on the radio the 72 blank spaces created by the editing they will have to do because of your limited vocabulary will not be distracting at all. In fact, they will love the beat because that will be about the only part of the song left intact.
Artist: You are old, man. They don't listen to the shit your producer wants us to say.
Me: Maybe so. I'm sure your version will get plenty of attention from the hood. You will get 1,000,000 views on Youtube and everyone in the hood will download your song...illegally. The check for $1000 will split up nicely between you, your buddy and the producer. Promise me you will let me ride that shiny, new bike you will buy with your end. Maybe you will make some extra money from that tour with Chief Keef. Oh, wait. He won't tour with you because you are in an opposing gang. How would he know that, you say? Because that is the set your are throwing up in your verse. Oh by the way, 12 bars is not proper song structure for this project. We will give you time to go reference your diary in your hope chest for 4 more bars.
Artist: You're a hater! (runs into studio and throws himself on the couch, sobbing into his Pelle Pelle jacket)
This is why I no longer work in rap.
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