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Friday, February 01, 2013

I hate riding the bus in Chicago

Since I got sick I've not been able to drive so I have to take public transportation most places.  For the most part it's OK but I'll be glad when I can drive again.  Here are somethings that YOU can do to make MY trip a lot more tolerable.

Bus Riding Etiquette:

If you are fat, do not stand in the rear exit path. No amount of squishing will make you skinny enough to get past.

If you are tall, do not sit in the front. No one can get past your long ass legs and you always sit with your knees in the aisle.

If you are loud, STFU. No one can enjoy the ride if you are steady talking about how ratchet Ke Ke is and why she should stop being a bust down.

If you are wide, stop sitting next to other wide people. Find a skinny bitch to sit next to. Even that shit out.

If you have a big ass, try to find a seat. No amount of clinching will allow enough space to get past your asscheeks and you take up the space of two regular adults.

Stop eating sunflower seeds on the bus. That shit is nasty and no one wants to clean up your spit covered discarded shells.

AND, if you ride with your kids try to keep them little bastards still and quiet before someone punts them off the bus. No one likes a kid that keeps kicking them.

Thank you and enjoy riding the CTA.

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